Loving Our Brothers via Modesty & Propriety

"And the second (greatest commandment) is this, "You shall love your neighbor..."

(Mk 12:28-31)

II Tim 2:15  "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."

I. Pet 1:13-16  "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy because I am holy."

PRAY

I. Cor 13:  “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing…Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking… Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Gal 5:14-15 “The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” 

Rom 14:12-15:2  “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. ¹³Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. ¹⁴As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food^[2] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. ¹⁵If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. ¹⁶Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. ¹⁷For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, ¹⁸because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men. (By dressing immodestly, can we say we are pleasing to God and approved by men?) ¹⁹Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. ²⁰Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. ²¹It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. ²²So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. ²³But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin. We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.”

I. Cor 8:9-13  "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol's temple, won't he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.  Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall."

I. Thess 4:3-6 "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him."

PRAY - (that we focus on love, that we will not feel the need to be defensive, and that God will help us discern how & in what ways we are being a stumbling block to our brothers & sisters in Christ.)

What are your thoughts about what ways we as women & as individuals serve as stumbling blocks to our brothers & sister in Christ?  (Reread these passages in Rom 14 and I. Cor 8 substituting the words/ideas “eat” with dressing inappropriately.)

I. Cor 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."  (Honor means to treat with respect or reverence; having good reputation; characterized by integrity.)(How can we honor God with our body?)

I. Cor 7:4 "The wife's body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife."  (The church is referred to in scripture as the bride of Christ. Whether we are single or married, we can think of ourselves as married to the Lord, therefore we should display our bodies appropriately.)

Prov 11:22  “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." 

Prov 27:20 "Death and destruction are never satisfied and neither are the eyes of man."

Job 31:1 "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."

Prov 6:27-28 "Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?"

Mt 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery,' but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gauge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into Hell."

Jas 1:14-15  “but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.  (We must be careful not to be the enticers.)

Mk 3:33-34 (Jesus asks) "Who are my mother and brothers," he asks.  Then he looked at those seated in the circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and brothers! Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."

If we realize that the guys in our church are our brothers in Christ, then out of love and respect, we should want to sharpen them spiritually rather than feed what we know is a temptation.  So, is the church a safe place for our brothers in Christ to worship? Or is it distracting them from the Lord & providing a stumbling block for newcomers, as well, since we are trying to grow as a church? 

Our relationship with God extends beyond Sunday mornings.  We need to live it 24/7.  So, is the church body, whom we see not just on Sunday mornings but also throughout the week, at the beach, etc, a safe place for our brothers in Christ?

If Jesus visited our church one Sunday, would we be embarrassed by the way we present ourselves?  Do our clothes identify us as being holy?  Dress for God, not for others.  With that mindset, we won’t offend our brothers in Christ. 

I. Cor 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (Just like Col 3:17 &23)  We should not be slobs or sloppy or careless about how we dress, but do it, as all things, as unto the Lord.  We should do our best, look our best, do all things with excellence…for God.  Soooo, lets see how scripture describes godly attire."

Rom 14:12 (that we read in the beginning) among many other places throughout scripture says we shouldn’t judge one another and that (as in Gal 5:15) if we keep on biting and devouring each other we will be destroyed one another.  Let us not let our peers or culture define what is appropriate clothing, let’s let God’s Word be our standard.  The following verses continue to define God’s standard.

Prov 31:21-31
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple...
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come. 
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Another version quotes vs 25 to say: "Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come."

I. Cor 12:23-24  …and the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment.”

Ruth 2:7,11-12 "She said, please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.  She went into the field and has worked steadily from morning until now, except for a short rest in the shelter...Boaz replied, I've been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband - how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before, may the Lord repay you for what you have done.  May you be richly rewarded by the Lord the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge."

Ruth 3:3,11 "Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes, then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking...and now, my daughter, don't be afraid I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character."

I.Pet 3:1-6 “... purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”

What fear could this be referring to?  Is there any fear behind what we choose to wear? 

I Thess 2   ³For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. ⁴On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. ⁵You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed--God is our witness. ⁶We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else.  (Who are we trying to please?)

Mark 15:15  Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.  (Who are we trying to satisfy?)

I. John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  (God is love. Let’s act out of love for our brothers in Christ, rather than out of fear which comes from Satan.)

Prov 2:11 "Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you."

Let's unpack this verse together.  What does it mean?  If we dress with discretion, we will protect ourselves in that we will attract the right kind of (godly) man…A woman's discretion will protect a man from being tempted.  (We can make it easy or difficult for guys to stumble by what we choose to wear.)

I Tim 2:9-10  “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 

Prov 19:14  “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” 

I Tim 6:6-8  “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”

Have you heard the saying, "If you look in your checkbook, what are you spending your money on? - This is what you worship."  Are material possessions, such as the latest style of clothing, a god that we worship?  What about what other’s think of how we look?  What about attention we get by what we wear?

Gen 35:2-4 “So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, "Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes. ³ Then come, let us go up to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone." ⁴ So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak at Shechem.

Dt 12:29-32 “The LORD your God will cut off before you the nations you are about to invade and dispossess. But when you have driven them out and settled in their land, ³⁰ and after they have been destroyed before you, be careful not to be ensnared by inquiring about their gods, saying, "How do these nations serve their gods? We will do the same." ³¹ You must not worship the LORD your God in their way, because in worshiping their gods, they do all kinds of detestable things the LORD hates. They even burn their sons and daughters in the fire as sacrifices to their gods. ³² See that you do all I command you; do not add to it or take away from it.”

Titus 2:11-14  "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority.

Is the way we dress compromising our influence as Christians ...to unbelievers? ...to children?  Who are the people who look up to you to give their attire approval, to be an example of what is holy and right in the eyes of God?  Younglife kids? Church kids?  

Have you ever heard the "be" attitudes referred to as the "be" differents (Mt 5)?  We're set apart to be an example:     

I Tim 4:12 "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."

We are called to be obedient.   

Rom 12:1-2 "Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to off your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Let's allow scripture to be our guide - its not our job, but our job is to hold each other accountable to God's teaching.  God's word talks about the Holy Spirit conforming us into His likeness.  That includes how we present ourselves to others.  Humans see the physical appearance & cannot see into our souls.  That is why it is so important for us to be careful about our external image because that is our biggest witness to others.

Verses about being set apart:  

John 17:16-17   They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.  [Sanctify in Greek: hagiazo (set apart for sacred use or make holy)]

Gal 1:15  But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace,

Leviticus 20:8  Keep my decrees and follow them. I am the LORD , who makes you holy. [ 20:8 Or [ who sanctifies you ] ; or [ who sets you apart as holy ] ]

Leviticus 20:24
But I said to you, "You will possess their land; I will give it to you as an inheritance, a land flowing with milk and honey." I am the LORD your God, who has set you apart from the nations.

Leviticus 20:26
You are to be holy to me [ 20:26 Or [ be my holy ones ] ] because I, the LORD , am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own.

Random questions for further consideration:

Do you want your husband-to-be to get in the habit of looking to all women to be turned on or just you?  Wear the stuff but in the privacy of your own home so that your husband has you all to himself.

Have you heard the saying, “Whatever you hook him with is what you’ll have to keep him with.”  What would it do to our self-worth to have a guy attracted to us solely for what we look like?  If that’s how we hook him, wouldn’t we always wonder if his love goes any deeper? Do we want the kind of husband that values physical things over godly matters?